Tips on teaching morals and manners

Children are born with little minds and characters like blank slates. It's true, there may be genetic predispositions toward some types of talent, habits and behaviors, but parents can always choose to develop, discourage and or channel these tendencies as the child grows.

Most people hope to have children with impeccable manners and strong moral values. If these hopes are to be realized, they should be kept in mind even before marriage. When choosing a mate, keep in mind that you are choosing the other parent for your future children. It will be difficult to have moral, mannerly children if one parent is a slob.

Here are some tips for ensuring that your children will become young people of whom you will be able to take justified parental pride:

* Marry someone with similar values and attitudes to your own. It helps if they come from the same social class and practice the same religion as you do. Explore with your potential mate priorities and expectations on child-rearing before you tie the knot.

* Parents are a child's first and most important role models. Be the person you hope your child will grow up to be. Encourage your mate to do the same.

* Read the child lots of stories with moral lessons as they grow. Discuss the issues and why the good characters were rewarded and the villains were punished at the end of the stories.

* No matter what your religion, take your child to church from an early age. Most faiths stress doing good and avoiding evil. The church can be an powerful ally in teaching your child morality.

* Besides teaching the child good manners, give him or her opportunities to practice them. Take them to high-end restaurants occasionally, introduce them to other adults, let them attend adult functions, and point out other people who are behaving appropriately on various occasions. Children learn what they live.

* Monitor your child's friends closely. Treat them to lunch and join their activities sometimes. Be aware that peer pressure is a very powerful influence on young people. Discourage associations which are not helpful in forming your child's character as you would like it to be.

* Monitor his entertainment choices as much as you are able. Many contemporary TV shows, movies, and music lyrics are not conductive to teaching strong moral values. Keep a variety of wholesome entertainment choices at home, such as good movies, and music videos. Watch interesting and educational TV programs with your child. Discourage those which are undesirable.

* Arrange occasions for your child to socialize with others who will contribute to his or her character development in positive ways: your church's youth groups, movie nights at your house, family gatherings, after-school clubs and sports teams.

* Involve yourself in the child's life and world as much as possible. Could you coach a sports team, volunteer to help on a class trip, or chaperon a school dance? The more you are seen as a respected and admired authority figure by your child and his peers, the more they will try to adopt your mannerisms and values.

Babies come to us like sponges, ready to absorb the moral codes and manners of people with whom they are most closely associated. What type of people they become is largely up to the parents. As the old saying goes, " The nut doesn't fall far from the tree".

To accurately predict what morals and manners your child will have, you need only look closely at your spouse and yourself.