Sunday 1 April 2012

Should you take your baby to the movies?


As much as I love babies, I would never suggest bringing one to a movie theater. I'd rather stay home myself and mind the child, even if it meant missing the movie. If I didn't have the option of staying home, I'd prefer to wait with the baby in the car. Bringing the baby inside would be a mistake for everyone concerned.

To expect the baby to sleep for two hours or longer in the theater is unrealistic. Have you noticed how many movie operators seem to think they're entertaining a room full of people who are hard-of-hearing? When the opening music starts, I often jump myself when the sudden blast of sound assaults my eardrums. A sleeping baby would surely be rudely awakened and start to howl.

The crying would disturb those nearby, and one parent would feel obliged to take the baby out until he's quiet. Mom or Dad would end up pacing the floor in the lobby until the child goes back to sleep or until the movie is over. In either case, the parent misses a good part of the show, which also means most of the money paid for the ticket has been wasted.

The temperature in a movie theater is rarely within the optimum comfort range. In summer, the air conditioning is usually turned on full, and adults who come without sweaters wish they had thought to bring one. In winter, it's either too warm or cool enough that you need your coat over your shoulders, at least. Adults are capable of adapting to varying temperatures, babies are not.

Babies' immature systems are not as able to adjust easily to temperature variations and they can't tell you if they're too cold or too warm. If the parents become engrossed in the movie, they may fail to notice the baby's discomfort until he starts to cry. That will signal another stroll in the lobby for either Mother or Dad. It's to be hoped they will take turns.

Have you noticed how awkward it is climbing over other people's knees to get to aisle in a theater while the movie is in progress? Once you try it with a crying baby in your arms, you'll definitely decide that you won't put yourself in that situation a second time.

Theater seats are meant to hold one adult comfortably. They were not meant for an adult holding a baby. To accommodate both, the baby has to fold in the middle, into a shape somewhat like the letter V. It might be comfortable for ten minutes. After that... well, back to the lobby.

Oh, and forget the popcorn. Holding a box of popcorn and a baby at the same time is almost impossible. Moving a piece of popcorn from the box into your mouth while holding a baby is definitely impossible. The parents will either have to take turns holding their offspring or eat when they get home.

Then there are health considerations. All around you in a movie theater you can hear sniffles, coughs and sneezes. The air is full of airborne viruses and bacteria. Healthy adults with mature immune systems can usually ward off the illnesses. Babies often cannot. The tender linings of their little noses, throats and lungs are fertile soil for nasty germs to settle and develop. Conscientious parents won't take a chance with their child's health.

After all things are considered, most parents will decide not to take their baby to a movie theater. With a little creativity, they could come up with many viable options. Save up until they can hire a sitter, buy a DVD and rent movies, brighten a grandma's day and let her keep Junior for the evening, do a chore for a neighbor in exchange for an evening's baby-sitting, or, as a last resort, take turns going to the movie with friends.

Whatever solution can be worked out, it will definitely be better than taking your precious baby to a movie theater.

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