Birth order and personality

Many parents are continually amazed at how each of their children have completely different personalities. The children are products of the same gene pool, born within a relatively short period of years and yet their characters are totally discrepant. Why?

Alfred Adler (1870-1937), an Austrian psychiatrist believed that a child's birth order within the family left an indelible impression that affected his personality. Adler believed that birth order determined the way an individual would deal with the people and situations that confronted him throughout life.

Firstborn Children.

These children are natural leaders. They frequently score higher on intelligence and achievement tests than their later-born siblings, perhaps because they have had mainly adult company in their early years. Their expressive language skills will be developed beyond what is expected for their chronological age.

They are least comfortable with their own age group. They prefer being with older or younger children. Their best friends are likely to be the youngest or oldest in their own family.

First-born children are constantly seeking parental approval, and seem ever-driven to better their last accomplishment to maintain their special status. They are responsible, logical rule-followers, and often worriers, desiring to retain their privileged position as the lights in their parents' eyes.

When a younger child is born, the oldest is dethroned. He may begin to act out to regain his parents' total attention. As the younger sibling matures, the oldest will either become a compliant nurturer or aggressive and bossy. He may adopt a strict, authoritarian attitude with younger siblings, and try to take on the role of surrogate parent.

These children enjoy their privacy and are quite comfortable being alone.

Middle Children.

These children will be opposite to the oldest child. They may feel that they lack a special place in the family, so their friends and peer group will be more important, especially in the teenage years.

They can read other people well, and tend to see all sides of a situation. They learn to be effective negotiators and often function as peacemakers.

They will be competitive and try to catch up to the older child. When this is impossible, they may develop an "I don't care" attitude.

Middle children tend to be flexible, social and easygoing, but inwardly, they may feel that life is unfair, believing that their older sibling gets all the glory, while the younger gets all the spoiling. learn to share at an early age and may be generous.

They will also be secretive and not openly share thoughts and feelings. Often, they will build a wall around their emotions which is very difficult to break through.

Youngest Children.

The babies of families tend to be sociable, outgoing and funny. They just want to have a good time. They can be charming and they love to be in the limelight.

They may also be manipulative, spoiled and self-centred, because they were always the smallest, the cutest and the most helpless in the family. There were always others anxious to entertain, help out, and smooth the pathway for "the baby".

Youngest children often become creative risk-takers. They will not be overly concerned with unpleasant consequences, because they were often shielded from them as children.

They will probably get bored easily and will not be great at entertaining themselves.

They may be financially irresponsible. They'll make elaborate plans to become wealthy within a short time, but unfortunately the plans seldom work out.

These, then, were Adler's theories about the significance of birth order in determining an adult's character. Some scientists since have disagreed with his conclusions, while others have confirmed them.

When parents try to discover reasons for the diverse character traits displayed by their children, Adler's theories may provide helpful clues.